Velocity Pizza

4894 San Juan Ave
Fair Oaks, CA 95628
(916) 844-7725


Our Carmichael contingent never steers us wrong. A pizza joint in a strip mall on San Juan doesn't seem like it much but Velocity Pizza makes a damn fine pie! They have a nice beer selection and three - count them, three! types of box wine for $4 a glass. The pistacho with cream sauce is great, the New York is meaty and wonderful and the kale salad is the size of my head. Very tasty all around and the staff are just great!

We even had an appearance from recently Thursday Drunks baby daddy, Nairb. Looking tired and happy, sent to take some food home to the family. Yay new drunk baby!

PS. Ben had a late request of a Slothopus for his birthday. At the end you will see all the renditions.

And now the Slothopus...

Sacto Mofo - Carmichael

Carmichael Park
5750 Grant Ave
Carmichael, CA 95608
(916) 485-5322

We have a few Carmichael drunks and they voted for the Sacto Mofo mobile food truck festival that happens on the first Thursday of the month. The park filled up with families with their kids and dogs and felt like a great community event. Over 10 food trucks, 3 dessert trucks some vendors and a band made for a nice evening. We brought our own sly booze, laid out a blanket and just hung out until the sun went down.

Try out any of the Sacto Mofo events in the local parks and you'll be pleased. 

Jarla's House of Tacos

Undisclosed Carmichael Location

There were tacos, a mini-horse Great Dane and a new fuzzball cat. Oh and lots of drunks eating tacos. That's all I have to report. And booze.

Good talk.

Yianni's Bar & Grill - Birth of Jarla

6628 Fair Oaks Blvd
Carmichael, CA 95608

Jarla's birthday! So she picked a place close to her with some tasty Mediterranean food.

So let's be honest. This place is right on Fair Oaks Blvd in a pretty sketchy looking white building just barely off set from the road. The front room is only used for banquets so it sort of looks empty when you pull up. You go through a side door into a dark bar and a little dining area just past it.

We hung out at the bar (full bar by the way), and the place had locals and regulars and the food looked great! The extra tacky horse clock was just a little peak of the kitsch.

We sat down for dinner and the menu is heavy on appetizers but with all the specials, the dinner menu it pretty thick too. Our waitress was awesome. Sassy, friendly and helpful.

We could have just eaten apps. Dolmas, spanakopita, salad, feta, all sorts of stuff. The main meal was meat heavy and great. Lamb shank, meatballs, chicken kabobs, all was delicious.

So, bring your friends and make your own fun over some great food. Also, we hear that on Friday nights they set up a grill out front, serve samples and it turns into a big Greek party! Trust us. Try it out.

Sher-E-Punjab in Carmichael

Yummy Indian buffet. Bollywood videos on the wall. Upon arrival Sluggy quietly asked if all Bollywood movies have dancing, she was relieved when we said yes and replied " Oh good. I didn't know if I was being a cultural ass." The chairs had cool dangly beads on them. Very festive. One of the "signature cocktails" on the menu was Jack & Coke. Mr.Chem was "on call" but joined us anyway. What a champ!

Service was good. The dinner was tasty. The Cap'n was a bit sad of the lack of paneer dishes in the buffet. He did engage TheJenny in a naan eating contest, and of course won. Most of us wen back for seconds. We liked the story about Jarla being farted on by a big giant fat man at a restaurant. Poor Jarla was helpless to run away and too stunned/asphyxiated to comment. Hilarity.

We compiled a list of all the movie plots we saw covered in the Bollywood entertainment. Here's what we saw:

• Grease
• West Side Story
• N'Sync video
• Close Encounters of the Third Kind
• Communion (yes, aliens)
• Coke commercial
• E.T.
• Pearl Harbor
• Pleasantville
• Full Metal Jacket
• Priscilla Queen of the Desert
  

The verdict. A bit spendy, especially for use bird eaters that can't maximize on a buffet, but otherwise delish!